Let us consider a life in whose course there is abundance of repetitions: mine, for example. I never pass in front of the Recoleta without remembering my father, my grandparents, and great-grand parents are buried there, just as I shall be some day; then I remember that I have remembered the same thing an untold number of times already; I cannot walk through the suburbs in the solitude of the night without thinking that the night pleases us because it suppresses idle details, just as our memory does; I cannot lament the loss of a love or friendship without meditating that one loses only what one really never had; every time I cross one of the street corners of the southern part of the city, I think of you, Helen; every time the wind brings me the smell of eucalyptus, I think of Adrogué in my childhood; every time I remember the ninety-first fragment of Heraclitus “You shall not go down twice to the same river”, I admire its dialectical dexterity, because the ease with which we accept the first meaning (“The river is different”) clandestinely imposes upon us the second (“I am different”) and grants us the illusion of having invented it; every time I hear a Germanophile vituperate the Yiddish language, I reflect that Yiddish is, after all, a German dialect, scarcely coloured by the language of Holy Spirit. These tautologies (and others I leave in silence) make up my entire life. Of course, they are repeated imprecisely; there are differences of emphasis, temperature, light and general psychological condition. I suspect, however, that the number of circumstantial variants is not infinite: we can postulate, in the mind of an individual (or of two individuals who do not know of each other but in whom the same process works), two identical moments. Once this identity is postulated, one may ask: Are not these identical moments the same? Is not one single repeated term sufficient to break down and confuse the series of time? Do not the fervent readers who surrender themselves to Shakespeare become, literally, Shakespeare?
— Jorge Luis Borges. “A Refutation of Time.” Labyrinths: Selected Stories and Other Writings. Ed Donald A. Yates & James E. Irby. London & New York: Penguin, 1970. p258-9
A schizophrenic out for a walk is a better model than a neurotic lying on the analyst’s couch.A breath of fresh air, a relationship with the outside world. Lenz’s stroll, for example, as reconstructed by Büchner. This walk outdoors is different from the moments when Lenz finds himself closeted with his pastor, who forces him to situate himself socially, in relationship to the God of established religion, in relationship to his father, to his mother. While taking a stroll outdoors, on the other hand, he is in the mountains, amid falling snowflakes, with other gods or without any gods at all, without a family, without a father or a mother, with nature. “What does my father want? Can he offer me more than this? Impossible. Leave me in peace.” Everything is a machine. Celestial machines, the stars or rainbows in the sky, alpine machines— all of them connnected to those of his body. The continual whirr of machines. “He thought that it must be a feeling of endless bliss to be in contact with the profound life of every form, to have a soul for rocks, metals, water, and plants, to take into himself, as in a dream, every element of nature, like flowers that breathe with the waxing and waning of the moon.” To be a chlorophyll- or a photosynthesis-machine, or at least slip his body into such machines as one part among the others. Lenz has projected himself back to a time before the man-nature dichotomy, before all the co-ordinates based on this fundamental dichotomy have been laid down. He does not live nature as nature, but as a process of production. there is no such thing as either man or nature now, only a process that produces the one within the other and couples the machines together. Producing-machines, desiring machines everywhere, schizophrenic machines, all of species life: the self and the non-self, outside and inside, no longer have any meaning whatsoever.
— Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and Schizophrenia. Deleuze & Guattari.
(Trans. Robert Hurley, Mark Seem, & Helen R. Lane)
The pyramid of junk, one level eating the level below (it is no accident that junk higher-ups are always fat and the addict in the street is always thin) right up to the top or tops as there are many junk pyramids feeding on peoples of the world and all built on the basic principles of monopoly.
與許多人以為的相反,我沒有細讀過Foucault 的諸種著作,他說話的模樣倒是很可愛的,但他不是甚麼偶像、代言人,我覺得在談文說藝的公開場合有避談他的必要,他的名字正如許些思想家、學者的名字一樣在完全無關或關聯極待發掘的場合或語境中,總是突然被拿來當作一種「非政治」的、和稀泥式的言詞策略,供人對號入座,母須站立任何立場。傅柯前傅柯後的人既不知道牢獄、也不太知道精神病院、以至舊式公共屋邨到沒去過,他們跟你談論圓形監獄、bio-power…… 可總是恰恰忽略了受難者的自我意志與心聲。吊詭的是,當「受害人」或個別受害人羣體嘗試(再次) 以學究的論述或政經文化政治座標作為自我生存狀況的一種解釋或描述,「受害人」不得不面對一種撕裂:理論 vs 未被掘挖的真實;描述者 vs 被描述物;普遍的可援引性 vs 獨例所作的見證;那個撕裂是兩種位置之所以對立、劃分或懸置所待馳的力(force) 必然招致的撕裂,論述的主體和經驗的主體無法安然共處一室、一個身體,論述的主體在語言的脈胳與危險通路上雖然不是風馳電制的暢遊或悠然漫行、可是他到底廁身在語言那邊。「受害人」因為一時/長久的失語,總是在另一邊。或被語言逮住 (arrested)、擱置。
傅柯企圖——而必然失敗的——某種有關知識生產之系譜考據,許是與尼釆在On the Genealogy of Morals 想說的遙相呼應—— 尼采認為,執於凡事皆有「始作俑者」的尋源追溯,正正是一種受「語言的誘惑」所致的表現,在該書的 I, Sect 13 他以雷電(lightning) 與它的閃光(flash) 為例,指雷電並沒有「導致」閃光、閃光亦非雷電「所引致」的,雷電亦非甚麼可以或不可以導致任何事情發生、或不發生的「主體」,「行雷導致閃電」的因果關係不外是語言、文法上的邏輯,僵化的理性思考亦因循同樣謬誤,因此尼采說:
there is no “being” behind doing, effecting, becoming, “the doer” is a merely a fiction added to the deed— the deed is everything.
可是,既然瘋狂只能以「病例」的形式出現,傅柯對醫藥文獻的考據並沒有重溯甚麼「瘋狂史」或「瘋人血淚史」,誠如布朗修在 “Michel Focault as I Imagine Him” 一文所言, 傅柯再次發現的是一道充滿挫傷的權力與政治、以至哲學意涵的切口:理性(Reason) 把所有異質切割開去、把所有「非理性」的人/事/身體/精神經驗摒拒於「現實」之外的切口。如果神權/教會指導的古典時代把俗人分為善良/奸惡,人事分為好/壞、或公義/不公義,啓蒙時期以降則為此等劃分的轉移和置換,人與人事只有「理性」與「不理性」之最重要劃分。醫藥論述與醫療執業的科技化、技術化與這個劃分歷史性轉向有密切關係,而這個劃分與轉向是各種形式的暴力與宰制達成和維繫的。
(…) People are bad, good, clever, stupid, pleasant and unpleasant; but superfluous… no. That’s to say, if you want to understand me: the universe could get along without such people… of course; but uselessness is not their chief quality, not their distinctive characteristic, and when you talk about them the word “superfluous” is not the first one that springs to one’s tongue. But in my case, nothing else can be said about me: I’m superfluous and that’s all there is to it. Redundant – nothing else. Nature did not count on my appearance and therefore treated me like an unexpected and unbidden guest. One joker has said of me not inappropriately, keen on cards as he was, that I was the throwaway card in my mother’s hand. I talk about myself now calmly, with no bitterness… The game’s long over! During the course of my life I constantly found my place already occupied, perhaps because I looked for it in the wrong place. I was highly strung, pitifully shy, extremely irritable, like all ill people; in addition, perhaps through excessive self-regard or generally through the unsuccessful structure of my personality, there existed between my feelings and my thoughts — and the expression of these feelings and thoughts — some senseless, incomprehensible and impregnable obstacles. And when I tried to overcome this obstacle by force, to smash this barrier, my movements, my facial expression, my whole being acquired a look of intense effort: I not only looked, but I actually became unnatural and over-wrought: I felt this myself and hastened to return to what I was. Then a frightful panic would arise in me. I used to analyse myself down to the last thread, used to compare myself with others, recalled all the smallest glances, smiles and words of those to whom I’d tried to be frank, interpreted everything in a bad light, laughed viciously at my attempts “to be like the rest” — and suddenly, in the midst of my laughing, I’d give way to sadness, fall into ludicrous despondency and once again start the whole process all over again — in short, I went round and round like a squirrel on a wheel. Whole days went by in this tormenting, fruitless activity. Well, now just you tell me, to whom and for what is such a man necessary? Who knows and who will say why this happened to me, what was the cause of this nitpicking concern with myself?
I remember I was once travelling away from Moscow in a diligence. The road was good, but the driver hitched up a fifth horse to the four already in harness. This unfortunate fifth horse, completely useless, tied somehow to the shaft by a short, stout rope which mercilessly cut its haunch, rubbed its tail and forced it to run in the most unnatural fashion, lending its whole body the shape of a comma, always aroused in me profound pity. I remarked to the driver that on this occasion one could get by without a fifth horse… He said nothing, shook his head, lashed the horse ten times with his whip across its thin back and distended stomach — and muttered, not without a grin: “Look, it’s dragged itself along right enough! Devil knows why, eh?“
And I’ve dragged myself along just like that… though, thanks heavens, the post-station’s not far off now.
— Ivan Turgenev.
“The Diary of a Superfluous Man” First Love & Other Stories. Trans. Richard Freeborn. Oxford& NY: Oxford UP, 1989. pp33-34.
當年佢唱: “I was happy in the haze of a humdrum town, and heaven knows I’m miserable now; I was looking for a job, and then i found a job, and heaven knows I’m miserable!” 我跟住唱,恰似青春彷徨。
當年佢唱: “Take me out tonight, take me anywhere I don’t care… I want to see the people and I want to see life… driving in your car, oh please don’t drop me home, cause it’s not home, it’s their home and I’ m welcomed no more… and if a double decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die…” 我又跟住唱,仲唱左俾一位有錢女同學聽。結果證明巴士司機絕大部份都安全至上。
早兩年佢又唱: “There is no one on Earth i’ m afraid of, and no Regime can buy me or sell me…” 偉大副歌:“I’ ve been dreaming of a time when the English are sick to death of Labour & Tories and spit upon the name Oliver Cornwell, and denounce this Royal line that salutes him” 我更加要跟住大唱特唱,仲將歌名「Irish Blood, English Heart」一句改做 Hong Kong Heart, Kowloon Blood! 然後因為音樂會吾可以有政治表態同人散Band。
…But if man is to find his way once again into the nearness of Being he must first learn to exist in the nameless. In the same way he must first recognize the seductions of the public realm as well as the impotence of the private. Before he speaks man must first let himself be claimed again by Being, taking the rsik that under this claim he will seldom have much to say. Only thus will the preciousness of its essence be once more bestowed upon the word, and upon man a home for dwelling in the truth of Being. But in the claim upon man, in the attempt to make man ready for this claime, is there not implied a concern about man? Where else does “care” tend but in the direction of bringing man back to his essence? What else does in turn betoken but that man becomes human? Thus humunitas really does remain the concern of such thinking. For this is humanism: mediatating and caring that man be human and not inhumane, “inhuman,” that is, outside his essence. But in what does the humanity of man conisit? It lies in his essence.
— M. Heidegger. Being and Time. trans. John Macquarrie & Edward Robinson (NY: Harper & Row, 1962) pp199-200.
歷史上著名的戰爭發動者有許多許多,他們是君王、豪強、獨裁者、野心家,至少也是個「戰爭罪犯」。除卻少數被聖象化以成歷史的大敘述的注脚,戰爭受難者的名字沒有多少人會記起。 除了他/她底親人朋友。 重看高達的《我所知道關於她的二三事》,裡面Juliette 與髮廊同事一同應召,還是讓我惴惴不安;她倆因為現代化巴黎的種種必須開支,下海服侍形色的嫖客,其中一位厭戰的隨軍攝記,著她倆用航空公司旅行袋懞頭,裸身行來行去而為前戲,Juliette問這幹啥,同伴答:「He likes that we don’t see」,Juliette就「突然想到」亞洲的一場戰役,影片剪接到著名的越戰生化武器受害者的臉孔特寫——
我非愛心爆棚、亦非熱血國際的理想青年,我僅是以非常微小的窺管觀看世界,想到去年孟加拉兩百幾個炸彈中午時份連環炸遍全國,我想起達卡和吉大港山脊的一些友人,想到只能在星期天老細放人才可披頭紗出街的印尼幫傭,想到重慶大厦的巴基斯坦餐室裡的食客每天還是想看家鄉的電視節目,想到欲在住處附近連起間清真寺祈下禱都俾人組織起來反對的新界穆斯林,想到無數無數外判或黑市僱請的建築與修路工人,當然還有「佐敦咖喱」的土製口味,尖沙咀Ned Kelly’s Last Stand的尼泊爾美少女侍應,和許許多多在廚房、後巷、梯間、閣樓工作的人…… 無論中文講得好吾好、住吾住公屋、有無身份證,都永遠被質疑的移民、徙民,其實大家係隔離鄰舍,擠廹香港,一樣係「餐揾餐食餐餐清」,時空壓縮的今日,遙遠他方的中東人、穆斯林,分分鐘近過我從上水出九龍。
學者Baudrillard稱言1992年美國攻打伊拉克根本没有發生,這個講法曾經令我的兩位紅顏知己爭論了一回。親歷災難、以何種形式親歷災難、甚麼為之親歷、現場在哪?時空壓縮的今日,plasma 和手机彩芒愈出愈大,乜野至少64萬色、乜野都是「高清」的今日,我們卻甚麼都看不見,形同目盲。想是專注於程式按鍵的魔幻時光中,太多Close Up 的關係,倒搞不清那必要的距離,沒有了距離感,親近不能親近,要疏遠的卻是已經摒拒界外而不覺。